Hey Girl,
First of all – happy belated galentines day! Happy self-love day, happy love day.. happy you day!
I want to talk to you young queens, who have never received flowers or gifts on valentines day but have given your allllll to someone and you feel so crappy/desire to receive flowers on valentines day. Why do I want to talk to you about it? Well, because it’s not talked about enough. Take this as loving big sister advice, who has got the t-shirt, socks, trousers.. tears, regret and learnings to prove it! Are you ready to feel exposed and supported all in one? If your a loverrr girl in a healthy lover era, you might want to skip this and go and check out another blog, or you may want to share it with a sister friend, because lets face it Queen – we all have that friend. So, if you ARE that friend. Listen the hell up!
Whether you are going out with somebody but you feel that you’re not been treated in the way that you desire and deserve to be treated, or if you’re in a situationship (because that seems to be the thing these days!), a third partyship or single.. we all want to feel loved and special and of course, there is a lot of hype around valentines day. When you’re scrolling through on TikTok and Instagram at all the roses and chocolates and ‘4lifer’ posters or anxiously awaiting for that one person to upload a ‘secret girlfriend’ and anticipating screaming and crying into your pillow for the rest of the night. When you look at something that you don’t have but so desperately want, especially looking through the lease of social media; this often leaves the girlies feeling like utter crap. I get it, it sucks! But what sucks even more is that these bread crumbing pigs have triggered you into feeling like rubbish and less than and yes, I said pigs! Go look at my ‘Bronte’s Terminology’ page to understand what I mean by that. Babe, I know all of this, because I have been your age and I have been there countless times. Take this as loving big sister advice.
Now Valentine’s Day is over, the emotions are over right? WRONG!
The emotions are still there, we’ve just added ‘it is what It is’ to the situation and swiftly moved on from it. That in itself is toxic. So, are you still going to accept the bare minimum treatment if you are involved with someone? Or, if you are single are you going to make the decision to pour into yourself? Treat yourself to a free audio book, podcast, hot shower, bubble bath or subscribe to this blog to be sent the free downloadable self-development and glow girl work sheets and remind yourself that you ARE that girl. Yes, you may not have received any flowers but baby girl, it doesn’t mean that In your life, somebody who you really like isn’t going to get you them. They will! You have forever to go and you have another year to decide what you will put up with and what you won’t.
Modern day living for girls and women, tends to be so focused around being in a relationship. Even at 16.. remember this: you will never get these years back, go and have fun! Equally, you will never learn these lessons again and be in the position to build the young woman that you want to become, one that doesn’t accept bullish*t or the bare minimum. Take it from me.. you will save years of heartbreak. It’s better to be heartbroken at 21 and making some mistakes, than crying at 35 years old over the same situations you was crying over at 21. Rather than valentines been focused on ‘not receiving those flowers’, let’s make it valentines and solotines, a reflective space where you have the chance to live life on your own terms. Be your own vibe and become your own best friend and just know that one day, you will receive those flowers and that energy that you give out to others.
The reality is, a lot of people are in codependent relationships and don’t know themselves.
Singleness, is a beautiful thing. The younger you learn to be single, the harder it will be as you are growing up for somebody to feed you bullsh*t/for you to let go of your ‘freedom’ and to manipulate you into situations that no woman or girl deserves. I know in saying all of this, it doesn’t take away that deep desire that you feel when wanting somebody to want you and to choose you, and put you first but it’s the truth. When you start to choose you, it shows others how to treat you. When we look at third party situations and situationships, we have to look at the people allowing others to be in this situation, are often narcissistic, ego driven and insecure. In order to be in a third party situation, remember this girl – the other person 9 times out of 10 has to create some form of reliance/’feel sorry for them’ set up, so you feel like you are so bounded to this person, that you simply ‘accept’ the situation. In those situations, you will always pay with the expense being your broken heart and feeling less than, and like you are constantly fighting an uphill battle to ‘prove’ you are worthy to that person. You deserve so much more than that. If that was you this valentines day, and you didn’t get a bunch of flowers, let that be the clarification and closure you need. Whether you are 16, 21 or 35 – baby, don’t play about you.
With all the love island talk at the moment around ‘being exclusive’ and asking ‘what does being exclusive ‘ mean? Don’t let that pressure you also. It’s about what makes you feel good and what is worth the journey and worth the emotion.
So, I am going to ask you again.. they didn’t buy you flowers did they? But, did you buy any for yourself? It’s time you treat yourself, how you want someone to treat you.
It doesn’t matter about the flowers, it matters about what you are going to do with that lesson. Don’t settle.
